New ward stuff

Been a while since I've found time to write. Not that I haven't had the time, but it seems like it's a big commitment to sit down and type out my feelings and the way that things have gone in my life recently. Writing is often an intensely emotional process for me -- not that I tear up at the keyboard or anything, but it's really cathartic and involving; it takes a lot of my focus to try and marshal my thoughts onto the screen. I do enjoy it, though, and I enjoy letting people read about it, if anyone cares.

My ward recently reorganized due to the lower number of people here for spring semester. I have been released from my calling as an FHE group leader -- a "dad" in BYU slang -- and am now on the Temple/Family History committee. Which, honestly, doesn't sound like a ton of hard work so far. It's basically just helping to organize temple trips and volunteering for name extraction and such like. I suppose it will be good to get some experience in this subject, because I have absolutely no idea what family history entails. I've never had to do any, since my family trees on both sides are filled out for about as far as they can go given the information we have access to. So maybe this calling will help. But otherwise, it feels a bit like one of those tacked-on callings that BYU singles wards so often have. We'll see -- I'll do my best to magnify it in whatever capacity I can.

The ward seems to have gotten a bit younger, and there's lots of new girls (and a few new guys) to meet and hang out with. We had a ward activity tonight up the canyon, and I spent most of the evening playing guitar with several other people. I don't know how many people were listening, and I bet they got fairly bored (I always seem to be the guy who plays guitar at ward activities, although I'm far from the best guitarist in the ward). But no matter -- I play for myself, because I enjoy it, and if others are around and happen to listen, that's fine by me. I suppose I should have been a bit more social and gotten to know more people (guitar players are a dime a dozen around here, after all), but that will come with time. Music has always sort of been my "in" with people -- they ask about how long I've been playing and if I can play this song or that song and it draws attention and it's fun. But I think I need to stop hiding behind my guitar and my talent and try to initiate contact in other ways. I know I'm capable of that, but it's easier for me to just sit back and chill and let people come to me. Something I'll have to work on, I suppose.

I've enjoyed watching the recent Suns games with some guys in the ward. The Suns are playing pretty well (that miserable Game 2 notwithstanding) and it's fun to watch with other guys who are knowledgeable about the game and the teams involved. Several girls come and go as we watch, but none are as committed as we are. I feel bad sometimes, that I'm forced to choose between hanging out with girls or watching a game I really care about. If it were any other game, not involving the Suns (or the Jazz, if they didn't suck), I wouldn't care. Take tonight, for example -- the Cavs played the Pistons and the Spurs played the Mavericks. Four teams I don't really care about (although I like watching LeBron). So, I ditched the games and went to the ward activity. If the Suns had been playing, though, it might have been different. That sounds shallow, but... meh. I can't help the way I am and the things I love, and sports is definitely one of the things I love.

Speaking of me being shallow, and things I love, I love music. Music is so important to me, and when people don't like certain artists that I like, or vice versa (they like artists that I don't), it sometimes makes it hard for me to be as friendly or as accepting as I should. I tend to make snap judgments sometimes based on musical preferences. I was talking to my sister-in-law about this, especially in regards to girls that really like country. As soon as a girl starts going ga-ga over some Keith Urban or Rascal Flatts song, I just tune out -- it just bugs, because I can't tolerate that kind of music. My sister-in-law told me that it's a really important thing in her relationship with my brother that they like the same kinds of music, and that I wasn't shallow for considering that as a turn-on or -off. And she would know, because my brother is at least as pretentious and elitist about his music as I am about mine. (Our tastes are basically identical.) Still, though, despite the absolution from my sister-in-law, I still feel guilty when such things happen and I sort of feel bothered by it. Surely something so small as musical preferences wouldn't hold back a serious relationship from happening. Then again, music is such an integral part of my life that it might be very hard for me to accept differences in this area. I dunno -- I guess it requires a bit more thought.

My roommate's been going through a rough time. There's a line from a Death Cab song that describes him perfectly: "It is true what you said/I live like a hermit in my own head." He really does, he just bottles things up and overanalyzes them until he's so drenched in indecision that no matter what he does, it will make him regretful, or he may choose to do nothing at all, which is usually worse. His relationship hasn't been going all that smoothly, and much of that blame should be placed on the fact that he paralyzes himself with doubt and fear and trying to make everything fit and make sense before he takes action. He reminds me of Hamlet -- all thought and no fight, until he goes crazy, and then it all just explodes out of him and he does rash things that he ends up regretting later. I wish I could help, but it's something he just needs to deal with himself. Hopefully he'll be able to chill a bit more and just let life happen instead of analyzing every single situation he comes across.

Okay, I'm just too tired to write any more. Off to bed. Scoot.

3 Response to New ward stuff

  1. Les says:

    Bad news: I like country. I think that the whole musical-preference-decides-compatiblility bit is a little over-the-top. I actually love it when people have different music preference. I can find respect for the art in most situations and it is something to share and talk about. It is nice to have some similarities, but an openness to diversity in any situation is a great trait.
    I loved your choice of words:"drenched in indecision". Very poetic. Points to you.

  2. Theo says:

    I know you like country, but you like other types of music too, so it isn't a huge deal. And I think music possibly means a bit more to me because I play lots of different instruments, and I've been surrounded by music since I can remember. I dunno. I can tolerate anything, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. Thanks, I thought that was a nice little turn of phrase myself.

  3. Shae says:

    It's one thing to not like something, but to give it a chance, and at least appreciate what the artist is trying to do is a better thing in my opinion. There are several different kinds of music that I don't care for, but I still appreciate the artist's passion behind what they are doing. Learning to appreciate all music is different then liking all kinds of music.