You will see my life through your eyes

Several things to talk about tonight. First and foremost, the son of Jor El. I witnessed Superman Returns on Tuesday night at around 10. And I witnessed brilliance.

There's a difference between the Superman mythos and many other comics. Superman was one of the first superheroes ever, and the very first to gain mainstream popularity. This happened at a time (the 1930's) when comics were almost more like printed soap operas. Characters intertwined, storylines took weeks to resolve, and the real flashy action that we have now come to expect from our superhero movies took a backseat to drama and interpersonal relationships.

This was true of the Richard Donner-directed Superman movies of the 70's, starring Christopher Reeve. They placed a premium on drama, and downplayed the action. You watched for the interplay between bumbling Clark Kent and the impossibly handsome Man of Steel, for the way Lois treated one or the other, for the discoveries of his Kryptonian heritage. And when the few moments of action came, they were so heightened because they were so rare. These things gave a very different dynamic to the Superman films, differentiating them from the 80's Batman flicks, and the 2000's Spiderman and X-Men movies.

Director Bryan Singer wisely kept this dynamic in place in his new film. Every moment, every interaction between characters, is deliberate but not forced, emphasized but not emphatic. Brandon Routh does a terrific job portraying an emotionally stolid Man of Steel. It isn't easy to show emotion by being unemotional. It seems like Superman's always got his heart in the right place, his feelings under control. But you sense the turmoil beneath the surface -- the longing, the hope, perhaps even the despair at times. This is as much a testament to Singer's touch behind the lens and the tightness of the script as Routh's acting. Whatever it is, it works.

Kevin Spacey is delightfully amoral as Lex Luthor. I think he had a TON of fun with this role. He was able to ham it up a bit ("Krrrrryp-tonite!!!") without going overboard. And Kate Bosworth does a fairly decent job as Lois Lane, though I could have used a bit more fire from her (and a bit less meltiness when Supes takes her for a night flight). James Marsden steals the show as Lois's fiance, perfectly walking the line between jealousy and quiet support. (It's nice to know he can act without a big Cyclops visor covering his face.)

But it's really the tones, the colors, the sets (Fortress of Solitude), and the whole world of Metropolis (and the views of Earth from Superman's vigil in space) that create a feeling of majesty that no other superhero movie will touch. It's a bit overlong, there really isn't much action (either Supes is stopping bullets with his eyes, or getting the crap beat out of him while Lex slices him up with a Kryptonite dagger -- there's not much in between), and those who are looking for something a bit more accessible may not find it. Come with an open mind and a desire for storytelling, drama, and grandeur, and you won't be disappointed.

Okay, and now for something completely different...

The NBA Draft was held today, and the Jazz were in DIRE need of a shooting guard to complement our stable of big men (Andrei Kirilenko, Carlos Boozer and Mehmet Okur) and our point guard of the future (Deron Williams). The draft this year was littered with several promising talents, including J.J. Redick of Duke, the consensus Player of the Year and 3-point shooter extraordinaire. Well, he was snapped up by the Magic with the 11th pick. The big man we had coveted, Mouhamed Saer Sene from Senegal, had vanished with the 10th pick by the Sonics. So we sat at number 14 as trades and rumors of trades spread throughout the land.

When our turn finally came around, we settled on Ronnie Brewer from Arkansas, a 6'7" shooting guard and an athlete to end all athletes. His strengths, according to ESPN draftniks, are his slashing ability to get to the basket, his high energy, his long wingspan, and his defensive prowess. However, what the Jazz really need is someone with a good outside shot, and due to a childhood accident that prevents him from fully extending his arm in a proper shooting motion, Ronnie Brewer does not have that. He makes do, and though his shot is ugly as sin, it goes in the hoop. (Players like Shawn Marion of the Suns make do with similarly unorthodox shooting methods.) So I'm cautiously optimistic. He definitely fills a need.

My worries are twofold:
1) That the organization, including Coach Sloan, will treat him like he doesn't belong in the whitebread Jazz system. This has happened before, most recently with Kirk Snyder and DeShawn Stevenson. Perhaps neither of them had the athletic ability or skill that Brewer has, but it's still cause for concern.
2) The look on Brewer's face when he heard his name called and realized, "Aw crap, I'm going to Utah." The kid just guaranteed himself a three-year multi-million dollar contract, and he looked like his ex-fiance who left him at the altar had just run over his dog. I'm telling you, that was not a happy look on his face. Despair would come much closer.

So, if we can overcome Brewer's misconceptions about this great state, and if he gets the playing time he needs, things could be very good. But we'll see.

The other two draft picks we had in the second round were Dee Brown from Illinois and Paul Millsap from Louisiana Tech. Apparently Millsap's supposed to be the second coming of Karl Malone, since he's from the same school. I'll take whatever we can get from him. I'm excited about seeing what Dee Brown can do when paired with his old backcourt mate from Illinois, Deron Williams. That should be fun.

All in all, a good night. We addressed some needs, got some very solid new talent, still don't have a man over 6'10". Looks like we're in for another lackluster year of tantalizing ups and infuriating downs. We'll see.

Next on the list...

So, I spend several hours tonight watching the draft, listening to analysis about all the picks, reading analysis about all the picks online, listening to the Real game (we gave up two goals in the last ten minutes to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory), and had home teaching and played Soul Calibur with Chase in between. (Talk about humiliation. The kid has never played the game before and beat me soundly. I am ashamed.)

The problem was, I had put my phone on silent while my home teachers were here. So, I didn't hear Shae call to tell me about her New York trip, AND (stupid stupid stupid my gosh I'm stupid) I didn't get a call from a girl in my ward who I think is so cute it's like kryptonite and I just REALLY want to do things with but she's always working except tonight she wasn't and she was going to a movie and she invited me to come AND I DIDN'T HEAR MY PHONE RING BECAUSE I LEFT IT ON SILENT. Heaven forgive me for the profanities that escaped my mouth when I listened to her voice mail and berated myself for seven kinds of an idiot. Man. She's so busy all the time, it's so hard to get a hold of her, and she actually called ME to hang out and I'm sitting here blissfully unaware piddling around on the Internet and getting whacked by a pretend guy with pretend nunchucks on a friggin Playstation game!!

Excuse me.

*bangs head on wall repeatedly*


All is not lost. She and her friends have plans to go to Lagoon on Saturday and I am invited, although that will be difficult, as I work till one and they plan on leaving around eleven. I'll have to drive straight up there by myself and spend twenty bucks for about six hours, not including gas. Is it worth it? Yes it is. Okay, it's not, but it helps if I tell myself that it is. Hopefully something enjoyable will come of that.

I just realized I have written far too many paragraphs about things that NOBODY but me cares about. I apologize to anyone who has slogged through this entire post in an attempt to find something interesting. I'm sorry. There's nothing here. These aren't the droids you're looking for. You can go on about your business.

Felt good, though.

Back again

... from the George of Saints, where I spent the weekend with my family. It was nice to take a couple days off from work and just chill. Sometimes family vacations become more stressful than everyday life, if they become too packed and full of things to do and a tight schedule has to be kept. Fortunately, this trip wasn't like that. In fact, aside from the abominable heat (I can't sleep at night if it's hot in the room) it was really great. We spent some time swimming, watching movies, playing games, and just generally enjoying one another's company. It was the last time that we'll really take a vacation together, since my sister will be in London by Wednesday and my brother and sister-in-law are headed to Purdue for graduate school.

I think I'm really going to miss them when they go -- not because I spend a lot of time with them (I don't really) but just because they won't be around now in case I do want to hang out. I love them both, and Jessica could not have fit in better with our family. I only wish that I can find such a perfect fit for myself someday. Still looking. I also think that my brother's best friend Clark is about to become better friends with me, as sort of a surrogate Dave while the real Dave is at Purdue. That's fine by me; Clark's a really funny guy and I'd love to hang out with him more, as long as it's for myself and not just as a replacement Dave. Maybe we'll get a more dedicated drummer and become rock stars.

I had a long talk/walk with Les tonight. She's convinced she's crazy. She's most definitely not. I know crazy when I see it, especially in light of recent events, and she is certainly not mentally unbalanced in any way. (I know she reads this -- I hope that reassures her.) We talked about a few different things, but we have very different opinions about certain things. She's very vehement about putting pressure on guys to take all the action in dating, initiate all the contact and do the asking out, because, according to her, there are "lots of girls who are SOOO cute who just sit at home lonely night after night because guys are stupid." To this, I would like to say: where in the hell ARE these girls?! And why are they not interested in me? We disagreed on this point, because I do just about everything I can to put myself out there, make myself available and ask girls out, and it hasn't done me a huge amount of good in the long run. She also said that guys should feel comfortable asking girls out and not be afraid that the girl will expect a relationship right away. From what I've seen, though, it's the guys who are willing to make commitments more than the girls, for the most part. I dunno. It's really good to have someone to argue and discuss these points with (so thanks Les, you're off friend probation, but don't push it -- you better stay in touch).

Don't even mention that atrocious Ghana match to me. That was NOT a penalty. We would have gone in tied at the half and destroyed them in the second half if not for that. Bollocks. Time to look forward to 2010 (the Cup will be held in South Africa! I'm so going). Now I'm focused on the Jazz getting a decent two-guard from the draft on Wednesday.

One roommate is moving back home for the summer tomorrow, so that's a plus. He and I have butted heads a bit -- not physically or anything serious, but we just have very different personalities and don't really mesh very well. He's a great guy, but I'm really looking forward to the different dynamic the apartment will have. The new guy who moved in tonight is called Rory -- I don't know much about him yet except that he's from Colorado, I think, and he's engaged (or will be later this week) and served in Romania on his mission and he's another bloody finance major (I think my apartment building spawns them). Seems like a nice enough guy, though. I just really hope our apartment doesn't become his makeout pad. Dammit, that living room is MY domain. Begone with your near-marital bliss and quasi-acceptable necking. Meh, maybe he's like Jim and hasn't even kissed the girl. I won't make snap judgments. But still...

The other new roommate won't move in until later this week. Apparently he's got a rockin' surround sound system. Maybe that'll make our place the new de facto movie-watching pad. (Nah, Darren's still got the projection screen. Besides, our TV doesn't have any of the proper inputs. I think the new guy might be rather disappointed when he sees what he has to work with. I hope it works out, though.)

I need Death Cab for Cutie tickets for August 8th. I need a date for the show too. I oughta get on that.

It's way late, but I'm not really tired. Which is weird, because I didn't really get copious amounts of sleep over the weekend. Meh. I'll give sleep a shot.

Seven hours away....

...from one of the biggest matches the US has ever played, ever. We HAVE to beat Ghana and Italy HAS to beat the Czech Republic. I joked to my roommate that only two things could get me out of bed at such an early hour if I didn't have to -- girls or the World Cup. (In a perfect world, these would be combined -- watching the World Cup with girls -- but whaddayagonnado.) We have the talent to do it, we really do. And we're catching Ghana at the right time, since they will be missing two of their three best players, Gyan and Muntari. Of course, we're also missing Pope and Mastroeni. But we've got other good players to bring on instead. We have the better team if we play up to our ability. I feel like a little kid on Christmas. I can't wait. And, because it's so early, I'll actually get to watch it! I've already told my boss at work that I'll probably be a little late, and if she doesn't like it, then tough, because goodness knows that place owes me something.

Update on the girls from the Twilight Zone: there isn't one, really. I fully planned to go visit them last night, but they weren't there when I got to the apartment they specified. (No one was there, in fact -- it really would be Twilight Zone-esque to find that that apartment has been empty for months or something.) I'll have to check again when I get back from St. George.

Oh yes, I'm leaving for the weekend tomorrow with my family. Since my sister is going to London starting next week, and my brother and sister-in-law will be gone to Purdue by the time she gets back, this will be the last chance we have to take a family vacation all together. I'm not sure exactly what we'll be doing -- I know that swimming, shopping and golf will be involved, as well as a trip to the St. George temple to do some baptisms. I'll be bringing the lappy, of course, but I don't know that he'll be much use, as I'm not sure that there will be an internet connection where we're staying. We'll see, I guess. I'm excited, though. This will be the first time I've had a proper chance to take a few days off from work since... well, since ever. I'm looking forward to it.

Currently grooving to the sweet sounds of Ryan Adams -- Clark hooked me up with several of his albums, as recompense for borrowing my keyboard the other night. (I told him about the Twilight Zone girls and my lack of Ben Folds-ability -- I think he felt bad.) Ryan is good stuff.

Did that just happen?

So I'm sitting on the couch in my apartment, messing around on iTunes, watching Sportscenter, just chillin, when there's a knock on my door. I yell come in, and in walks a pair of beautiful young women. One sits down on the couch by me, the other plops down in the rolling desk chair. We start talking. They comment on the Christmas tree which still occupies the corner of our living room. They ask my name. They make the requisite "Are you from Layton?" remark (honestly, one day, someone will forget to make this joke, and the world will immediately stop spinning). I ask their names (Veronica and Brittany, no last names given). I ask where they live. They say they live in Sparks, behind Golds Gym. I ask what they're doing in this neck of the woods. They say they were on a bike ride and decided to stop. Veronica sees the Anaheim Angels' Rally Monkey on Sportscenter. She mentions that she's a SoCal native and loves the Rally Monkey. This somehow leads to both girls breaking into, um, an interesting rendition of "I Believe I Can Fly." Brittany jumps off the couch and begins interpretive dancing to the lyrics. I of course do the logical thing. I join in singing. This somehow leads to me singing "A Whole New World" from Aladdin while Brittany dances (and I use that word loosely). This leads to both girls commenting on my voice. Brittany asks if I know any Ben Folds. I nearly go ballistic with chagrin because I let my friend Clark borrow my keyboard so I can't play any Ben Folds for her. I do manage to track down Chase's guitar and bring it out. I play and sing "Island In The Sun" by Weezer. They sing along at parts. They compliment my voice again. Veronica requests "Free Falling" by Tom Petty. I have never tried to play "Free Falling." I don't know the lyrics. Veronica steals my laptop and finds the lyrics online. I play the song perfectly. We sing together. We laugh. They get up to leave. I ask which apartment they live in
at Sparks. They tell me. They say they'll definitely be back. They leave. I sit in stunned, blissful silence.

I'm still not actually sure it happened.

Too many games

Ah, who am I kidding? There's no such thing. Behold the glory:

Starcraft (with Brood Wars expansion)
Unreal 2
Far Cry
Grand Theft Auto III
Grand Theft Auto Vice City
Grand Theft Auto San Andreas

All that for $40. That's some quality crap. Don't expect to see me for a while.


They're good. I like them.

Watching the Heat actually play well for once in this series against the Mavericks. No, I take that back -- they did play well at the beginning of Game 1. But they cooled off really fast in that game, and I sort of think they're going to do the same here. I don't see the Mavericks losing this series.

I think there's a storm coming in. That's good. I wish it would just pour. It rained a fair amount the other day, during the huge thunderstorm that knocked out my internet, but I want it to just unleash. Maybe it will cool off the weather a bit too.

I can't tell you how mad I am at the US soccer team. We sucked. Sucked hard. I don't have too much to say about it, because I was at work and unable (mercifully) to watch. Look, I know that the Czech Republic are a better team. The loss doesn't really bother me that badly. The 3-0 destruction that they gave us is what bothers me. It might get really important if there ends up being a tie and it comes down to goal differential. We just better play well against Italy on Saturday. (Of course, I'll miss that game too, because of work. I told my boss today -- even though I've told her before -- that I'm not going to be working at the bank during the fall, especially not on Saturdays so I can go to BYU football games, since I'll probably be writing about them for the newspaper. I thought she was going to have a nervous breakdown. I swear, that place is going to self-destruct without me. Okay, that's really arrogant. I'm a jerk. But it'll be hard on them for a while.)

I played Star Wars on my computer till 3am last night. And Nick and I are about to relieve a local guy of his entire game collection. I'm about to get about seven new computer games. Say goodbye to your social life, Layton. Oh, wait, that's right. I don't have one. Even better.

It's a bit weird not to have my roommate around. For one thing, the dishes get done a lot less (because my other roommate always uses them and never washes them -- that was something he used to do). Now I have to do them, when I didn't use any of them. That's frustrating. And I now can surf online or play games late at night on the lappy and not worry about keeping him awake at night. Not that I'd ever wake him up anyway -- dude slept like a dead man. Except when he would sit bolt-upright and start talking to me in Portuguese. I hope he's doing all right. The whole elder's quorum presidency and my other roommate went over on Sunday night to check up on him. I didn't go -- I didn't think it was really appropriate. I mean, we never hang out with our EQP, so why should they want to come hang out now? I bet it felt awkward, more like an intervention than a visit. Maybe I'm too cynical -- they certainly had the best of intentions. I just don't know that it helped to have five people go over to make sure he isn't going insane. Whatever.

Meanwhile, my other roommate is at his ex-girlfriend's brother's basketball game. With her entire family. Talk about awkward. He let slip today that he thinks she was pretty hurt by their break-up the other day. Seems to refute his claim that it was "mutual." Regardless, it's tough to hang out with your ex so quickly after you've broken up. You just have a lot of memories and things that are hard to bear, on both ends. It's tough. Well, best of luck to him. I'll hear about it later, I'm sure.

Mmmmm.... Cheez-Its......

Impossible Is Nothing

This is the slogan of the current Adidas marketing campaign -- I use it as my post title partially in honor of the start of the World Cup. I cannot tell you how stoked I am to watch (I'm sitting here watching Argentina and Ivory Coast play right now). I'm disappointed that I may not get to see much of the U.S. because most of their games will be in the daytime when I'm at work. And following soccer on the internet is about one step up from watching paint dry on the Entertainment Scale. Still, I'll do what I can to watch. Soccer has such a beauty and flow to it that few sports can match. It also has by far the most exciting moments -- since goals are so rare, the sheer energy that comes when they are scored is like nothing else in sports. I can't help but throw my arms in the air when a goal goes in, even if I'm not a fan of the teams playing.

I also use these words for this title to describe what went on yesterday in my apartment. To quote a line from Saving Private Ryan, "The world has taken a turn for the surreal." I won't go into details, but suffice it to say that my roommate's situation has resolved itself. Not in the way that any of us would have liked. But it is over. I hope. I also hope that there aren't any long-term consequences.

My roommate was (and perhaps still is) convinced that the things he has done and felt in the past few weeks have been due to following promptings and revelations received from God. It's hard for me to know what to say to this, especially since I've always looked up to him for spiritual guidance; he certainly doesn't watch or listen to or read some of the things I do (and no swearing slips out of his mouth). Under any other circumstances, I'd completely take him at his word. But I find four problems with the claim that his actions have been inspired.

1) The Lord will never prompt a person to disobey the law of the land.
2) The Lord will never give revelation or counsel that is contrary to the counsel of priesthood leaders (such as parents or the bishop).
3) The Lord will not give a person a revelation for someone outside of their stewardship.
4) The Lord will not give a person a revelation that will make them unhappy.

I know that over the past few weeks, my roommate has gone against all of these rules. And he sure as crap hasn't been happy. That worries me. I really don't know what will happen in the long run. But, we helped him move out yesterday. He actually just came in to grab some extra stuff that he forgot last night. I'll be praying for him.

I think the worst thing about the whole situation is that neither my roommate nor the other party involved seemed to really think through what would happen to the other person. They've both been so focused on themselves that they haven't given each other a chance to see how the other person was feeling. And that really bothers me -- I guess I'm too compassionate a person myself to want either person to feel this way.

Meanwhile, my other roommate broke up with his girlfriend. He says it was a mutual decision, that they were both about to leave for the summer and neither of them wanted to do the long-term thing and be attached while apart. So I asked if that meant that they would see where they were when they both came back in the fall, and he said probably not. It doesn't exactly surprise me, to be honest. I'm sort of wondering if he's willing to commit to anybody. Meh, I'm being too hard on him. He's just looking for the right girl and he likes to keep his options open. Still, though... ah, never mind.

Okay, I've been trying to post this for three hours and I keep getting interrupted (either by people or by our stupid internet connection dying). So, up it goes.

Knight of the Old Republic

So, I spent three hours tonight playing Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic on my lappy. My friend Nick keeps telling me I need to game more, like I used to back in the days when I first got home from my mission and played games non-stop along with watching movies and listening to music in an orgy of entertainment media, as if to make up for the two years of my mission. It's not my fault that I have a lot of priorities in my life now, including attempting to have a social life, running my own amateur counselling service, and watching the best NBA playoffs in history. Gaming has had to take a backseat to several of these things, and I don't really regret it for the most part. I do regret the way I've promised to do certain things with Nick and haven't ended up doing them. But I'm trying to find a balance in my life, between music, sports, reading, writing and dating. It hasn't been easy.

For example, in the past week I've spent a lot of time with my family, including the date I mentioned last Friday, hauling cinder blocks for several hours on Saturday as part of the process of demolishing the fireplaces in my parents' house, and hanging out with my little brother on Sunday. (Speaking of gaming, I loaned him my PS2 on Sunday night, so he could play Kingdom Hearts 2. He beat it today. That's a 35+ hour game, folks. He must have played it about ten hours a day. Wow.) I've also spent quite a bit of time with people from my ward so far this week, including FHE, playing basketball after FHE, and hanging out with Chelsea and Ashley last night (which was mostly fun, despite the fact that our plan to see a movie totally fell through. Fun girls to hang out with -- don't know that either one really fits my personality, but fun). And I have tentative plans to hang out with other girls from the ward this weekend, too. So that's all going well.

But tonight was just for me. I played Star Wars for quite a while, read quite a bit in my book (The Stand, by Stephen King, if anyone's curious -- really interesting, not a horror book, but still not for the faint of heart or easily offended. I wish I didn't have to skip stuff sometimes, but it's mostly awesome), talked with some guys outside, and just generally had "me" time. Which was nice. I sometimes feel like I give so much of myself to others (and don't mistake me, I wouldn't have it any other way) that I neglect myself. I forget how much simple pleasure I derive from a good book, good music, and a nice session of gaming. I really take things too seriously sometimes, and I think it's good for me to do some frivolous things to put life into perspective.

Speaking of frivolity, if anyone needed a dose of that, it's my roommate. He's still in pieces over certain recent events in his life, and I have no idea how to put him back together. It's frustrating to me, because I have such a complex about wanting to help people emotionally, and there's absolutely nothing I can do for him -- he's got to work out whatever is wrong on his own. I personally just think he needs to chill, to go meet some other people, play some games, focus on school, and not worry so much. I rarely see him around any more, and when I do, he's either praying, reading scriptures, or talking/e-mailing some family member about how to improve himself and his situation. I just worry that he's getting way too depressed, and I don't know how to lift him out of it. Because I can't.

On the plus side, Reggie And The Full Effect are a funny band.


You ever have those days where you just wake up and don't really know why, but you feel good and upbeat and optimistc about things? That was this morning. I didn't get anywhere near enough sleep (okay, technically it was six hours, which is enough, but not as much as I wanted), and I had to get up earlier than usual and go to work (missing my ward activity in the process -- I swear, can they ever schedule something NOT on Saturday morning?), but I got dressed and got in my car and rolled down the windows and blasted some Blink and sang along at the top of my lungs and I just couldn't keep a big grin off my face or stop myself from yelling out the window for no reason at all. And seriously, there was no reason. I just felt good. Still do, more or less.

I call this the anti-flu. It's the opposite of when things are going well in your life and then you wake up feeling sick one morning. If there are viruses that make you feel worse, why can't there be viruses that make you feel better? Okay, that logic is a little dodgy. No matter.

I actually spent several hours a few nights ago trying to convince a friend that I wasn't really that bummed out. I've become a lot more optimistic about life in general since I've been home from my mission, and even though my current social situation leaves something to be desired, I have no fear that I'm going to meet someone shockingly awesome someday and end up deleriously happy. I honestly believe that. I just get frustrated sometimes when social situations don't turn out the way I'd like. My friend said I get far too dramatic about such things, and he's right. I guess it's good that I woke up feeling so chill and good.

Take last night, for example. One of the funnest dates I've been on in a while (okay, the only date I've been on in a while, but never you mind). My brother serves as a second counselor in a BYU ward bishopric, and his wife has gotten to be friends with a member of the relief society presidency in the ward. They've wanted to set me up with her for a while, so we went to dinner and saw X-Men last night (yes, it was the third time for me, but they hadn't seen it yet, and you know I'm always down for X-Men). And it was just a lot of fun -- she's a great girl and really funny, and the four of us just seemed to have a very good dynamic, making jokes with each other, telling stories, and just hanging out, really low-pressure style. The only downside is that I think she has another guy she's interested in (story of my life -- otherwise, I'd be asking her out again in a heartbeat). So that was a bit of a bummer, but really, the evening was so much fun that it didn't really bother me. And that's a big deal for me -- I overreact to being passed over in favor of other guys.

Anyway, I have no prospects, nothing to look forward to except a hellish week at work (my cool boss will be on vacation, so it'll be me, my lame boss who never helps at all, and three other people who have about a month of experience put together. Ugh), and the Suns probably losing tonight or on Monday. But I just feel good. I feel happy, more or less. It may be as passing as my frustration at my female troubles, but I'll take what I can get. Besides, there's a reason my blog title is what it is.