Knight of the Old Republic


So, I spent three hours tonight playing Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic on my lappy. My friend Nick keeps telling me I need to game more, like I used to back in the days when I first got home from my mission and played games non-stop along with watching movies and listening to music in an orgy of entertainment media, as if to make up for the two years of my mission. It's not my fault that I have a lot of priorities in my life now, including attempting to have a social life, running my own amateur counselling service, and watching the best NBA playoffs in history. Gaming has had to take a backseat to several of these things, and I don't really regret it for the most part. I do regret the way I've promised to do certain things with Nick and haven't ended up doing them. But I'm trying to find a balance in my life, between music, sports, reading, writing and dating. It hasn't been easy.

For example, in the past week I've spent a lot of time with my family, including the date I mentioned last Friday, hauling cinder blocks for several hours on Saturday as part of the process of demolishing the fireplaces in my parents' house, and hanging out with my little brother on Sunday. (Speaking of gaming, I loaned him my PS2 on Sunday night, so he could play Kingdom Hearts 2. He beat it today. That's a 35+ hour game, folks. He must have played it about ten hours a day. Wow.) I've also spent quite a bit of time with people from my ward so far this week, including FHE, playing basketball after FHE, and hanging out with Chelsea and Ashley last night (which was mostly fun, despite the fact that our plan to see a movie totally fell through. Fun girls to hang out with -- don't know that either one really fits my personality, but fun). And I have tentative plans to hang out with other girls from the ward this weekend, too. So that's all going well.

But tonight was just for me. I played Star Wars for quite a while, read quite a bit in my book (The Stand, by Stephen King, if anyone's curious -- really interesting, not a horror book, but still not for the faint of heart or easily offended. I wish I didn't have to skip stuff sometimes, but it's mostly awesome), talked with some guys outside, and just generally had "me" time. Which was nice. I sometimes feel like I give so much of myself to others (and don't mistake me, I wouldn't have it any other way) that I neglect myself. I forget how much simple pleasure I derive from a good book, good music, and a nice session of gaming. I really take things too seriously sometimes, and I think it's good for me to do some frivolous things to put life into perspective.

Speaking of frivolity, if anyone needed a dose of that, it's my roommate. He's still in pieces over certain recent events in his life, and I have no idea how to put him back together. It's frustrating to me, because I have such a complex about wanting to help people emotionally, and there's absolutely nothing I can do for him -- he's got to work out whatever is wrong on his own. I personally just think he needs to chill, to go meet some other people, play some games, focus on school, and not worry so much. I rarely see him around any more, and when I do, he's either praying, reading scriptures, or talking/e-mailing some family member about how to improve himself and his situation. I just worry that he's getting way too depressed, and I don't know how to lift him out of it. Because I can't.

On the plus side, Reggie And The Full Effect are a funny band.

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