Lights will guide you home


Every so often, I get all mushy over music. Playing "Fix You" on the piano just now almost made me cry. Seems like I'm always the one to try to fix other people. I dunno. Music strikes me in strange ways sometimes.

My back is KILLING ME from sleeping on this stupid bed. I really need to flip my mattres but I'm just too lazy to do it, and I don't think it will really help anyway. I seem to recall this happening back before my mission as well, but I don't remember it being so acute. I wake up at 9 in the morning, earlier sometimes, and my lower back just aches and no sleeping position will fix it. Way frustrating. Maybe it's my body's way of telling me to get out of bed and stop being a lazy arse and go running or something. I'm sure there are things I could take care of before 9am -- I just don't know what they are.

Started talking to a couple of new people in the ward. The gay best friend syndrome strikes again -- I'm pretty sure neither of them would ever even consider me as a possible option for dating or whatever, but yet again, something about me inspires people to open up to me and talk about their lives and problems and such. I think maybe it's just because I show such an interest in other people. Everyone likes talking about themselves, right? (I mean, what is a blog if not a way to talk as much as you please without anyone interrupting you? It's the height of me-first communication. Guess that's why I enjoy it -- goodness knows I don't get enough of an outlet for that usually. Except at the soccer game tonight; thanks to a good friend for that.)

Totally in limbo with that one girl who once invited me to Lagoon with her. I asked if she'd like to come to the soccer game tonight, and she turned me down very politely, saying she had too much homework, even pulling the "maybe I'll meet you there later" thing, which of course was total bollocks. I get home and walk outside, and there she is sitting out on the front steps with about ten other people, just sitting and talking. Really studying hard, apparently. I realize now that she's in NO way interested in anything from me, and is only showing me token politeness to have me as a buddy and someone who doesn't think ill of her. Fine by me. Just so long as I know where I stand. I think I do now.

So, if not that option (and let's face it, it never really was much of one), then where do I look? I dunno -- I haven't met many new people, obviously, not being in classes at the moment. It's basically my ward, and that's it. (By the way, completely got snubbed by a girl who used to be in my dinner group tonight. I said hi and she gave an imperious little nod of her head, like it was too much effort to say anything to acknowledge me. I knew I always bugged her somehow, but I never realized she thought she was too good for me. There's several girls in the ward I get that impression from. Ugh. Grow up.) I'm really getting antsy -- I think this past period, just over a month, is the longest I've gone since being home from my mission without going on a date. Bit frustrating, really. I don't want to just pick someone at random just for the sake of going on a date, but I have no prospects at all. I dunno.

Firefly is the best show ever made. The end.

3 Response to Lights will guide you home

  1. Shae says:

    Go to the show tomorrow! It will be a good way to get to know some new people for you. You never know, you might find someone you would be interested in there. I dunno! It's an idea though.

  2. Anonymous says:

    I'm not sure whether this suits the article, but what the heck!

    You complain about lower back pain: The cause is probably the fact that your hamstrings are too tight.
    You see, your lower back area is also commonly referred to as your lumbar area (lumbar vertebrae). When this area flexes (bending forward) there is a five% flexion in each vertebrae, after 45% flexion, anterior pelvis rotation occurs, this rotation is influenced by your hamstrings. Therefore the maximally flexed lumbars are flexed even further which results in lower back injury and resultant pain when the pressure in this area increases (like lying down with your legs straight).

    Another reason for the pain may be that your back muscles and quads are stronger than your glutes and hamstrings. Weak abs may also cause lower back pain.

    So there you have it...your back aches because it wants you to get into the gym.

    Hope it helps!

    Chrizelle

  3. Les says:

    My dear friend,
    Reading about your life makes me miss you and makes me want to come and see you. I'm not sure if I will see you until January- wow! I don't know how you will survive without me (of course I am wondering about myself as well.)
    I hope you know that "Fix You" is definitely one of my favorite songs in the world. You are going to have to play it for me sometime...even if it is just over the phone.